How Do You Identify?

by | May 24, 2022 | Queer Life, Sexual Wellness

Note: This article was originally posted on GoodTimesAlways.com on April 27, 2022 by Summer D Clemenson

I don’t talk a lot about my membership in the Queer Community because my realization that I am part of it is so new to me. I know some people cringe at the word queer but LGBTQIA+ is hard to say and even harder to remember and my wife, Karen G Clemenson, had an aneurysm many years ago and some things just don’t stick easily with her so I made the decision that we would use the word queer and if someone wants to know why we use it we can say we are too old to remember all the letters. But truly, even though we tend to be more conservative than most of our fellow queer folks, we were voting for same sex marriage long before we even knew we wanted to marry each other. All the letters have a meaning though and they are all important:

  • L – Lesbian (women who are attracted to women sexually)
  • G – Gay (men who are attracted to men sexually)
  • B – Bisexual (a person that is attracted to both men and women sexually)
  • T – Transsexual (a person that experiences a gender identity that is different than the one assigned to them at birth; this has nothing to do with their sexual orientation)
  • Q – Queer (umbrella term for sexual or gender minorities)
  • I – Intersex (people who were born with several sex characteristics including chromosome patterns, gonads or genitals)
  • A – Asexual (a person with a low or absent interest in sexual desire towards others)
  • + – (Anyone else including Pansexual; a person that may be attracted to men, women or trans people, Polyamorous; multiple romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved…and anyone not listed…)

I am actual Demisexual which technically falls under the scope of Asexual. Basically demisexual people do not feel romantic interest until a strong emotional bond has been built. For me, gender doesn’t matter but I am never in a hurry to develop a sexual relationship and I would never consider a relationship beyond my marriage. I am not wired that way. My wife really likes that about me. When it comes to gender I am a Cis-Female. That means I was identified as female at birth and I agree that I am a female. But I know people that were born one gender who identify as another gender. Like my friend Rae. Rae was born female but now is Non-Binary. Rae’s pronouns are now They/Them. One of Karen’s clients was born male but is now in the midst of transitioning to female. This client is a Trans-Female and her pronouns are She and Her.

Today I Want to Talk More About Transsexual People

Confusing, isn’t it? Don’t worry. Rae promises me it is much less hard for me to learn their new pronouns than it is for them to transition. I trust them that they would know better than I would. You see, I don’t have to understand. I just have to love them and treat them with respect. Even if I mess up and use the wrong pronouns, if I just apologize and treat them kindly, usually people are going to forgive me because I am not judging them or treating them poorly, I am not scared of them and I am looking them in the eye and trying to do my best to connect with them. Did you know that Washington State has anti-discrimination laws that clearly prohibits unjust or prejudicial treatment based on gender expression or identity? These laws protect people in places that serve the public like public schools, restaurants, hotels, renting, buying and selling homes, employment (especially state, municipal and private workplaces with more than 8 employees), credit transactions and insurance transactions. These laws protect people from violence and threats, harassment, intimidation and bullying motivated by gender expression or actual and perceived gender identity. Trans-Students have the right to join in and play in interscholastic athletics according to the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association, which states that students should be allowed to participate in physical education and athletic activities in a manner that is consistent with their gender identity. If school leadership is not supporting their students they are violating the Equal Protection Clause of the federal Constitution, where schools are responsible for protecting the rights of all students.

If your school is not supporting you or your student you have options please see:

As you may have guessed it, I was fueled by something to write this article. I have a friend named, Roger, who recently shared with me that he has a friend that is having to travel outside his school district because he is not being supported at his school and The Daily News won’t write anything about this story. I told Roger I would, but I got impatient. So I started doing a little research and found out that our state has been working hard to make it a safer place for Trans and Queer folks to live… In February of 2016 Senate Bill 6443 was defeated in Washington State, making it illegal to harassing based on gender identity or sexual orientation, give LGBT employees fewer benefits or deny people access to restrooms consistent to their gender identity under the law. In April of 2021 Senate Bill 5313 was passed banning health insurance discrimination. This law made it illegal for insurance companies to refuse covering gender confirming treatments to minors on the basis that they felt it was for cosmetic reasons. This is important because a study found that the trans population could be subject to minority stress and societal stigma which is the cause of mental health disorders without the proper support. These are all great steps forward for all of us because if one person is made free, we are all made more free and freedom is a beautiful thing. It is what so many United States military have laid down their lives for and I would never want to cheapen that by someone who is afraid. I understand that some people might be afraid of things you don’t understand or know about so I suggest that you ask questions. You can ask me questions. If I don’t know the answers, I know where to find them. RAINS is a great resource and their board is made of kind and loving people that want to support us all with education and resources. When it comes down to it. Shouldn’t we try to make it easier and not harder for our kids to get a good education, no matter what their gender identity is?

More Information

I hope this article helps Fuel Your Wellness. Please leave your comments below.

Summer D Clemenson is a co-owner Clemenson Enterprises, LLC and Wellness Works NW. Summer her wife, Karen G Clemenson’s personal motto is Creativity, Honesty & Positivity are a must! This mantra helps them stay community and wellness minded in all they do. Summer is an Independent Wellness Advocate at dōTERRA. Summer also writes poetry and inspirational blogs @ GoodTimesAlways.com. Her crochet art can be viewed and purchased @ KnottyWares.com & she loves special orders!

Queer LifeQueer Life is a category that gives information about the Lesbian, Gay, Transgender, Intersex, A-sexual, + (including Pansexual, Polyamorous and everyone else) community that we refer to as the Queer Community at Wellness Works NW, mainly because LGBTIA+ is hard to remember and hard to say for some of our older people and we don’t want to leave anyone out because everyone is important. If you would like to offer any kind and responsibly written articles written about Queer Life please Contact Summer. If you have any questions and would like research done regarding a viable topic please contact Dear Jamie. God Bless you!

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