I have a caregiver. My caregiver is not a family member because I made the choice to use an agency. I made the choice I made because when I was a caregiver for someone close to me I got to know the roller coaster of emotions, mental health, and complications it brings to the relationship. I love my siblings and I did not want to complicate our relationship anymore than it already was by asking them to become my Family Caregiver. However, I know that there are those who do not want an agency to take care of their family member and they choose to work and be a caregiver for them. I respect that and I think it is one of the most valuable jobs there is.
Seventy percent of us will need long term care and so it makes sense to have a family member do it, but if that is too hard, or if you need a break, it is okay to have an agency provide for your loved one. There is no shame in needing help. A statistic I found that I thought was interesting is “1 in 6 American workers provide care for an aging loved one.” That is amazing to me. One of my siblings is my mom’s caregiver and it is a 24 hour job in itself. I cannot imagine having a job and providing help to your family member at the same time. I guess it would depend on what kind of care they will need.
One thing I know from watching my sister, and what I did myself, when I was a caregiver, is caregivers focus all their energy and time into the person they are caring for and then they forget about their own physical needs.
More Caregiver Statistics to think about:
- Forty nine percent of caregivers have depression
- Fifty seven percent have a hard time sleeping or have their sleep interrupted by caring for their family member.
- Forty six percent have gained weight or lost weight from the stress of caregiving
Stressors that many caregivers feel:
- They feel overwhelmed
- They feel alone and isolated
- They feel deserted by other family members and friends and their church
- They get little sleep or they want to sleep too much
- They have significant weight gain or weight loss
- Feeling tired all the time
- They lose interest in activities
- They become easily irritated
- They become easily angered
- They worry all the time
- They get headaches
Balance is a hard thing to do regardless of whether you are a caregiver or not. It is vitally important to find a balance when you are a caregiver so you are not giving all your time and energy to one person. Here are some tips to keep in mind when making a balance care-giving relationship with your family member.
- Remember that perfect is the enemy of good. Remember sometimes good enough is enough.
- Look for solutions instead of focusing just on the problems.
- Plan ahead: For me, with my health issues I find it easier to plan ahead with doctor appointments and scheduling rides, etc so that I do not forget. My caregiver appreciates it when I am able to tell her what I need.
- Communicate with your family member if you are able to. I understand that there are some circumstances where communication is a struggle, but it is so helpful to talk to them about what you need from them and how they can help you. Even though someone may need care they may still be able to help you by doing small things like reminding you of upcoming appointments, or exercising with you, or cheering each other on in remembering to drink water.
- Set boundaries with your family member. You need moments when you won’t be able to be with them and it is okay and you don’t need to feel guilty for wanting space to do something just for you.
Finally, here are some ways you can include things to take care of yourself as a caregiver.
- Exercise! You must have seen this coming after all Wellness Works NW is an advocate for exercise and moving your body. I believe you can spend 30 minutes to build strength and endurance and relieve the stress of the day. Karen is an excellent resource for great movements to help with relieving stress.
- Eat well. Find an eating plan that works for you and drink your water. You and your family member can do this together and encourage each other and even consider make a competition.
- Commit to finding a hobby that you love and relaxes you.
- Do not be afraid to ask for help. People, including family members cannot read your mind so communicate your needs. This will make healthier relationships for everyone.
- Stay in touch with your friends. Text, email, Facebook, tweet, whatever your preferred method is keep in touch.
- Find a support group. This is a great place to get ideas and solutions to issues going on and it helps you vent safely.
I hope this article inspires you to take care of yourself while you are taking care of your family member. If you need more insights and ideas feel free to contact Karen G Clemenson or any of the Wellness Works NW Team. We can help you by creating a meal plan that works for you and your family member. Karen can create a great movement routine that helps you stay strong so that you are able to take care of your family member for a long time. We are also able to research solutions to problems that may come up and how to find the help that you need. Do not be afraid to reach out we are here to help you.
Keep moving!
Here are some links I would like to share with you:
- Caring for aging loved ones by Fidelity Staff
- Taking Care of YOU: Self-Care for Family Caregivers by Family Caregiver Alliance Staff
- Photo Credit: Family Caregiving: Local Resources and Solutions by AARP Staff
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Jamie Holloway is a co-owner of Wellness Works NW and she is also our Research Manager and writes our Chasing Wellness with Jamie Holloway and Dear Jamie columns. Jamie is also an Independent Wellness Advocate at dōTERRA. She lives in the Portland, Oregon area. Since October 2011 she has been sharing her Journey Toward Health and Wellness with Vasculitis through her blog at JamieChasesButterflies.com. We hope you are as inspired as we are with the raw candor Jamie uses in her writing. If you would like to help support Jamie’s writing efforts please Donate now.
